Life As We Know It

  PREVIEW

  It knocked Charlie’s sword out of his hand before he could use it against him. Charlie then tried his gun, whipping it from its holster and shooting at the undead monster before him. Charlie’s gun clicked. It was dry.

  “Oh, really.” He muttered. The creature was approaching him quickly. He threw his gun at the oncoming zombie. The gun bounced harmlessly off of its head, landing on the ground next to him.

  “Aw, fuck.” Charlie groaned. “This is not good.”

  Charlie looked around for any thing that he could use as a weapon against the undead bastard that was rapidly gaining on him. He scrambled up and grabbed a chair that was leaning on its side in the dusty old kitchen. He threw it with all his might at the zombie. The chair collided with the zombie and knocked it off its feet.

  “Oh, yes! Score one for me.” Charlie said. Next, Charlie picked up the chair and brought it down on top of the zombie’s head, hard. The chair splintered, leaving the zombie relatively unharmed.

  “Oh, for fucks sake.” Charlie said.

  He ran towards the zombie and tackled it. He brought it to the ground and started punching it with as much force as he could muster. He threw the zombie away from him and looked for his sword. When he couldn’t find it, he resigned himself to the fact that he would have to look for something else. He ran over to the old counter, and desperately looked through all of the cutlery, hoping for something sharper than a butter knife. He finally found what he was looking for: a large butcher’s knife. Smiling, he whipped the knife above his head and brought it down on top of the zombie’s skull, which, attached to the rest of the zombie, was now mere inches away from Charlie. The zombie froze, blood starting to pump from the knife wound in its head. Charlie pulled the knife out and the zombie fell to the ground.

  He put the knife back and finally found his sword underneath the table.

  “There you are.” He said, smiling.

  Chapter 1: Rising

  Charlie Gilroy was sitting at home on his couch. He was a bit of a self-described couch potato. And by couch potato, he meant ‘pretty-much-a-part-of-the-couch’ potato. He never really bothered leaving the apartment much. And why should he? It wasn’t like anyone depended on him. Especially after the reports he had heard on the morning news. Some weird disease going around, very contagious, apparently. That was enough of an excuse for Charlie to stay on his ass all day. He had a drink in one hand, and a T.V remote in the other. It was his day off, after all. His job as a weekend self-defence instructor was only barely paying the bills, and he wasn’t certain he’d have that job much longer. He heard a bang on his door. Startled, he spilt his drink on his trouser leg.

  “Bollocks.” He mumbled as he walked towards the door and looked through peephole.

  It was his roommate, Rory. He twisted the knob and opened the door as Rory pushed his way through. Standing at 6’6’’, Rory’s massive Scottish frame dominated most rooms he walked into.

  “Chuck on Channel 34, there is something you need to see,” said Rory in his thick accent, pointing at the TV. Charlie walked over to the remote and flipped the channel over. It was an emergency broadcast.

  “What’s this all about?” complained Charlie in his deep southern accent, eager to return to his lazy Sunday afternoon.

  “Just watch,” Rory as he sat on the couch. A reporter came onto the screen. There were people running around in the background of the set. He began to talk.

  “This is an urgent broadcast to all civilians in the state, STAY INDOORS, LOCK YOUR DOORS and KEEP CALM! The United States Government has issued a Level 4 state of emergency, we have not been given any information as of yet, but a few videos from mobile devices have been sent in to us here at Channel 34. We now go live to our correspondent, David Cowle. David?” The screen flickered and the reporter disappeared, replaced by David Cowle, who was dressed in a yellow HAZMAT uniform

  “It’s hectic out here, Arthur.” David said. Behind him were a group of strange creatures. They were human, but only by the loosest definition. They were hideous. Ragged strips of flesh hung from their bodies. Blood covered them from head to toe. Their clothes were ripped and their eyes were bloodshot.

  “Holy shit.” Charlie said under his breath. There was only one word that came to his mind.

  Zombies.

  “I’m getting some more information now” The reporter interrupted, “It is now estimated that this disease has accelerated exponentially over the past 24 hours, and half the population have been infected by this disease, known as-

  The correspondent suddenly gave a hideous inhuman scream. One of the ‘zombies’ had shuffled towards him, and bitten into his throat. Blood spurted out of his neck, and the correspondent fell to a heap in the ground. He was dead.

  “HOLY SHIT!” Rory yelled. Charlie could only watch on in pure horror. The T.V signal cut out, leaving a horrific silence in its wake.

  “Change the channel” Charlie said. “Maybe there is more information on another channel.”

  There wasn’t. Rory flicked through every single channel on the T.V, and there was nothing. Out of nearly 500 channels, not one of them had any signal. Charlie turned the television off. He looked over to his friend. Rory MacArthur was a good man. He was a policeman. It had been his dream job since he was just a little boy. He had never seen Rory look anything less than rock steady, but Charlie couldn’t help but notice he was slightly shaking.

  Charlie stood up. “What are you doing, Charlie?” Rory asked. “SHHHH. I think I hear something.” Sure enough, Charlie was right. A zombie shuffled past the window, and then to Charlie and Rory’s horror, through the open front door.

  “SHIT. Get out of its way!” Charlie screeched. The zombie stretched its arms out in front and reached for Rory. It stumbled towards Rory, and knocked him down. The zombie grabbed Rory’s hair, and pulled him closer. Charlie tried to pull the zombie off Rory, but every time he did, it would snap and growl at him.

  Just as the zombie was about to bite into Rory’s arm, there was a swishing sound, and a thin red line of blood appeared across the zombie’s neck. A full second passed until the zombie’s head slid of its neck. The head bounced on to Charlie’s carpet, and stayed there. Unbelievably, this did not kill the zombie. It snapped and growled into the carpet. Again, the swishing sound appeared and the head was sliced neatly in two.

  However this time Rory saw where the noise had come from. A man holding a long, silver sword was standing in Charlie’s small living room.

  “Idiots.” He spat. “Didn’t you ever see, oh, I don’t know, every zombie movie ever? Everyone knows you have to destroy the brain.”

  And with that, he spun around and walked out the open door.

  Charlie and Rory looked at each other then ran out the door after their mysterious saviour.

  “HEY” they yelled as they sprinted past at least 15 Zombies, who all turned around and started following the noise. The two men finally caught up to the man who had just saved their lives. “What the fuck are you doing? You Idiots.” He said, moving in front of them. “What were you thinking of, running down the street and yelling? You’ve attracted their attention now!”

  “What do we do?” Charlie said.

  “Well, you have two options, the way I see it. You can stay here and get devoured by the undead, or you can MOVE YOUR FUCKING ARSE AND FOLLOW ME.” The stranger replied.

  Charlie and Rory followed the man throughout the streets of their once bustling Atlanta neighbourhood. They soon got to a supermarket that had closed down. But that had not stopped the rioters. They had broken in and taken absolutely everything they could find. The place was deserted.

  “Jesus.” Rory said. “How long has this zombie thing been going on
for?”

  “The earliest reported incident was 72 hours ago.” The stranger replied grimly.

  “This, gentlemen, is how long it takes for humanity to go to shit.”

  “Jesus, this is happening so fast. Can you at least tell us your name?” Rory asked.

  The man ignored him.

  The man took Rory and Charlie behind the supermarket. Sitting in the parking lot was a van. Not just any van, however. A big, heavily armoured van, the size of a bus. Rory doubted that any of these ‘zombies’ could get through to this thing. It really was suited to an epidemic like this.

  “Open up, Penny” the man said. “Its me. And I brought two newbies”

  Newbies? Charlie didn’t think that was a very fair term. It made them sound like morons. Anyway, seeing as the man did save their lives, Charlie figured he could let it go.

  The man interrupted Charlie’s train of thought. “Um, sorry for being such an ass earlier boys. I was a bit worried about, well, dying. Anyway, I’m Jack, and this is my wife, Penny.”

  Charlie and Rory introduced themselves to Jack and Penny.

  “So, then.” Said Jack. “How would you like to stay with us?”

  “S-stay with you?” Rory stuttered.

  “Yes. Stay with us. It’s a dangerous world out there now, and you can’t go through it alone. We can protect you, and we can teach you how to protect yourself.”

  Charlie looked at Rory. They had been best friends for a LONG time. They knew everything about each other. They also knew what the right thing to do was.

  “We would love to stay with you.” Said Charlie

  “That’s great news-” Jack said.

  “HOWEVER, we have a request.” Rory interrupted. “I was almost killed by one of those things. I would have died if you hadn’t have come along. We need to learn how to kill these, these things.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. Tell you what. You stay here with Penny, and I’ll go round up some zombies for you to practise on.”

  “Are we really calling them zombies? Doesn’t that sound a bit science fiction to you?” Charlie enquired.

  “That’s what we call them. That, or chompers. Or monsters. You can call them whatever the fuck you wanna call them. No skin off my ass.”

  “I like you.” Charlie said.

  Jack left the van, and left Penny to talk to Rory and Charlie.

  “It was Charlie and Rory, wasn’t it?” Penny asked

  “Yes. I’m Charlie, and this here is Rory.” Charlie said

  “So how is your husband so prepared for all this? Didn’t he say the whole thing only started 72 hours ago? He looks like he has been doing this for years.”

  “In a way, he has. My husband is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. He always knew the apocalypse was coming one day, and he made sure we were always ready for it. We have his sword, and we have one simple little pistol. He made me learn how to shoot in case there ever was something like this. I have to admit it; his preparedness has saved our life a lot of times already. If I had never learned to shoot, we would already been killed.”

  “Wow. So all you guys have had is one little pistol and a sword?” Rory asked.

  “Yeah, that has been it.”

  “I may be able to help you there. Weapons wise.” Rory said. Charlie knew what he meant by that, but he wouldn’t tell Penny. They had only just met her, for Christ’s sake. Besides, there was no guarantee that it could work anyway.

  “I know this is going to seem really quite rude, but since the world has gone to shit, I don’t actually care all that much. I’m quite tired, and I am going to have a lie down.” Penny said

  “That is completely fine, Penny. We are all tired.” Rory said

  With that, Penny went into the back of the van and slept, leaving Rory and Charlie alone. Within minutes, they too were off to sleep.

  A loud bang on the door woke Charlie and Rory up.

  “It’s me.” They heard Jacks muffled voice from the outside say.

  Rory picked himself up off the uncomfortable ground and opened the door. Jack was looking at them with a mixture of amusement and smugness, like he knew they weren’t about to enjoy what was about to happen next. The three men walked towards a large cage that only yesterday would have held shopping carts. It was now empty. Of shopping carts, that is. In the carts place was about 7 or 8 zombies. They had seen Rory and Charlie, and they were starting to get riled up. They were snarling and growling, and they looked mean.

  “These things are killers. They are not human. Once you turn, you are no longer considered a human. These things have no personality, they have no mercy, and they have no limit. They will bite you without a second’s hesitation. Do not let them get that close. Now, do either of you know how to shoot?”

  “I do, Jack.” Said Rory.

  “Grand Theft Auto doesn’t count, my friend.” Jack said. “This is a deadly weapon, and should only be treated as-

  “I am a policeman. Trust me, I know how to shoot.”

  “Ok then, you get the gun.”

  He handed Rory the pistol. It was a beauty.

  “Looks like you’ve got the sword then, Charlie.”

  He handed Charlie the sword. It felt right in his hand. Not too heavy, and the grip was very comfortable. It just felt right, like he had been using it forever.

  Charlie actually had a decent amount of experience with a sword, having been a part of many clubs and guilds growing up. Not many people knew it about him, but swordplay was a real passion of his.

  “Now, if EITHER of you feel that this is getting out of control, then Rory, I want you to hand the gun to me and I want you both to GET BACK. Got it?”

  “Got it.”

  “Ok then. Good luck.”

  With that, he opened the gate, and the zombies poured out. Rory aimed his gun, and shot the first zombie right in the heart. They expected it to topple, but it just kept coming. Charlie stabbed it right through the chest, but still it just kept coming. Things weren’t looking good. Until Charlie remembered something Jack said to them the first time they met.

  “YOU HAVE TO DESTROY THE BRAIN.” He yelled.

  He swung the sword so that it hit the zombie right on the head

  THWACK!

  The sword sliced through the top of the zombie’s head, instantly killing it. Pulling confidence from Charlie’s first killing, Rory aimed again, and this time shot the second zombie in the head. It fell instantly. Charlie and Rory went like that for a while, until finally Charlie decapitated the final zombie and then stamped on its head, killing it.

  “Bloody good job boys! You guys are naturals at this!”

  “Thanks!” Charlie said. “Listen, do you mind if we hang on to these weapons for a while? Just until we find some more?”

  It was a long shot, definitely. But Charlie was already really getting attached to the sword.

  “Sorry, buddy. No can do. If we had more weapons, then sure you could, but that’s it.”

  “What if we showed you some more weapons?” said Rory

  “You know where there are more weapons?” Jack asked.

  “I told you I was a policeman, didn’t I?” Rory said, grinning.

  “If you can get us some more weapons, then you can keep those.” Jack said, clearly excited.

  “Deal. Lets go, we probably don’t want to lose daylight.”

  They sprinted back to the armoured van, and when they got there, they banged on the door.

  “Penny! Wake up! We gotta go, now!”

  Penny threw open the door. She looked terrified.

  “What? Are there zombies about?

  “No, no. Don’t worry about that. We got ourselves a couple of natural killers! No, sweetie, Rory here says he knows where to get more weapons, but we have got to get there before the sun goes down.”

  “Ok, then. Get in and you can show us the way, Rory.

  They got into the van, but Rory made no attempt to show Jack and Penny the way.

  “Before we go, you need t
o answer a couple of questions.” Rory said.

  “Ok? What’s on your mind?”

  “What are those things? We need to know everything you know about them. And we need to know it now.”

  “Ok, that’s fair. Those things are what you would call ‘zombies’. They are the living dead. However they are not like your classic zombies. They do not rise from graves, hell bent on munching on brains. They are a shell of what human kind used to be. They don’t think. All they can do is kill. And how do they do that? They bite you. Or they scratch you. One bite, one scratch, and you are a goner. You are as good as dead. The fever will hit you first . Then the sweats will come on. You will be sweating BUCKETS, and then you will die. But the thing is, you don’t stay dead. Because after a while, you come back. As one of them. You never EVER underestimate those things, do you hear me? They may seem stupid but they are deadly. Now lets get going.”